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from Dr Diana Carroll, Celebrant. 
A Groom’s Guide - What you Need to Know to be the Perfect Groom! You’re getting married – congratulations! You know you’re the groom, but what’s your job? What do you need to know to be the perfect groom? Wedding planning has traditionally been left to the bride and her mum. More recently, the ‘bride tribe’ got involved in a big way too. Now many grooms are taking a more active role and want to be more involved in sharing the wedding journey. And with marriage equality (yay!!) you may be groom and groom. So here’s what the groom-to-be needs to know about the wedding. The Engagement: Wedding planning really begins even before you get engaged. Traditionally you would ask the bride’s father for his permission to marry. Not many people do that now, but your in-laws will be impressed if you discuss it with them early. This may be a conversation you have alone or with your bride-to-be. The groom’s biggest responsibility is the proposal and the ring. Whilst some grooms do buy the ring first to present at the proposal, this does have some risks. Yes it’s romantic but would you really want someone else purchasing an expensive item that you have to wear every day for the rest of your life? It can be much safer to buy a ‘pretend’ for the proposal with the promise that you’ll go ring shopping together. Most couples buy the wedding rings at the same time as the engagement ring to ensure they match. And increasingly guys are wearing an engagement ring too. The Groomsmen (or groomsgals!): Your primary role is to organise your side of the wedding party. A lot of more informal weddings have just one person on each side, so all you need do is pick your best man. And some couples are opting to go it alone at the Ceremony. If you are having groomsmen and bridesmaids it’s usual to have the same number on each side. And it’s not unusual now for groomsmen to be groomsgals. Just pick those people who you really want to be there for you on this special day. What do you and the boys wear? Whilst the overall style and colour scheme will probably be decided by your bride (or jointly) you are responsible for ensuring the boys are dressed and ready. This may mean hiring the suits, buying the shirts, ordering the bow ties, and ensuring the shoes are polished! Attention to detail will be appreciated by your bride and will make a huge difference in the wedding photos. Buck’s Night: This is one wedding tradition that is slowly dying out. Few brides are happy at the prospect of her groom having a raucous night with the boys. Whatever you plan, keep it tidy! And don’t do it the night before the wedding – a week or two ahead is usual. A buck’s weekend is becoming popular with the groom and his tribe going away for a boys’ mini-break. Very often the best man will make all the arrangements. Sometimes the boys all get together to pay the groom’s share of the costs or everyone pays their own way. Paying the Bills: These days most couples are paying some or all of the wedding expenses themselves, so it’s all shared. Traditionally the groom personally paid for the engagement and wedding rings, the Ceremony (paying for the Celebrant, Church or Registry Office), the buck’s night, the flowers, the wedding cars, thank-you gifts for the best man and groomsmen, and the honeymoon. Wedding Speech: Even the most informal wedding reception usually includes a few speeches. The bride’s father traditionally makes the first speech, followed by the groom. Your speech is really about thanking everybody: your new family for making you welcome; the bride for loving you and accepting your proposal; the wedding party for all their love and support; and the guests for their attendance and their generous gifts. The groom’s speech usually ends with a toast to the bridesmaids. Some couples now share the groom’s speech, or the bride makes her own speech. There really are no rules these days, so make it your own. And make it genuine! On the Day! You will feel emotional – every groom is nervous, excited, and a little anxious. A quick drink might calm your nerves but stop at one. Be aware that your Celebrant is not allowed to conduct the Ceremony if you have had too much to drink. This is the law. And this has actually happened (not to me, thankfully!) where the Celebrant has had to cancel the Ceremony because the groom was inebriated. (It applies equally to the bride, but that hasn’t happened as far as I know.) So by all means have a drink before the Ceremony, but just the one! A Shoulder to Cry On! Most brides find wedding planning stressful. And the bigger the wedding, the more stress you feel. Weddings can also bring out family tensions and issues between friends. Whilst your bride may not be a ‘bridezilla’, she will probably feel worried and overwhelmed during your wedding journey. Your most important job is just to be there as a shoulder to cry on. Give her a hug, feel her pain, and just be there for her. And do try to share the excitement too! Enjoy your wedding! Diana, xx As your Celebrant, I will guide you through the wedding. I am calm, relaxed, and happy! Call me on 0419 829 667 or email diana@bestweddingcelebrant.com.au (Photo thanks to Alex Kwong Photography) 
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